Same-Sex Attraction & Sex Addiction among Christians: The Triple Threat of Shame

Addictions, Asian Christianity, Asian Shame0 comments

Photo by Tyler Callahan on Unsplash

It’s shameful enough acknowledging your sex addiction. Now  combine that with your attraction to people of the same-sex within a Christian context and you have potentially shame so wide and deep that you fear being rejected on multiple fronts.

I’m privileged to work with those in this category who have found the courage to seek help and open up to their deepest fears and concerns with me as a fellow believer.

They know that as a therapist and a Christian I will not be condemning them.  To be clear when a client shares of their sex addiction and in particular to those of the same-sex, they are reassured that my goal isn’t to change their orientation (i.e. making someone gay to straight).  But within this Christian framework, they are looking for help to escape the compulsive and destructive nature of their addiction whether straight or gay.

Part of the work encompasses understand the addictive process in general (i.e. triggers, warning signs, shame cycle, etc.) that leads someone to act out sexually either through pornography, chat rooms, other people, and/or prostitutes.

Another aspect of therapy (regardless of sexual orientation), is to help the client process and grieve the pain of the past (i.e. trauma, losses, and/or childhood wounds).  For those with same-sex attraction, the grief can be even more challenging as they have faced ridicule, ostracism, and rejection both from mainstream society and even within their Christian families and churches.

Photo by Matt Botsford on Unsplash

When it comes to faith, restoring hope and eliminating shame is the first step.  Letting all addicts know that freedom from addiction is possible.  “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come.  The old has gone, the new is here!”  (NIV). Being made anew in Christ does not mean the old impulses and desires disappear.  It is a fight.  No it is a battle that rages at times due to our life situations and vulnerabilities.

Yet through it all, despite our sexual transgressions we are capable of being transformed into new beings with a new identity, a new purpose, and a new framework for living not because of us but because we have been redeemed by God through Christ.


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