Perfectionism: The other side of Shame
-
Andrey Popov of Shutterstock
In my work as a psychotherapist, speaker, and workshop facilitator specializing in Asian cultural shame, people sometimes forget that shame doesn’t just show up in “negative” contexts as it can also rear its ugly head in “positive” ones, such as perfectionism.
Perfectionism can have dire mental health consequences that impact an individual and lead to depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, and a host of other addictions. A recent study of over 40,000 American, Canadian and British college students published in the journal Psychological Bulletin(Dec. 2018) looked at three different dimensions of perfectionism and found a 10% to 33% rise over three decades. The researchers point to several contributing factors, including “more unrealistic expectations and more anxious and controlling parents than generations before.”
Jeremy Lin is a Champion: Minutes don’t Matter
When the Toronto Raptors won its first NBA Basketball Championship on June 13th, the nation of Canada exploded in celebration. One player, Jeremy Lin, a Taiwanese-American was also on the roster. While his contribution on the court and playing time was minimal, he too celebrated as a member of the Raptors.
When media outlets point out he made history as the first Asian-American NBA Champion, many critics scoffed. They cited, he only played 27 minutes throughout the entire playoffs, with all the minutes meaningless to the outcome.
I am from Hong Kong, Not China
Frances Hui, an Emerson College student is getting negative and at times threatening backlash from mainland Chinese students and others she’s encountered both in-person and online after penning an article for the college’s student newspaper titled, “I am from Hong Kong, not China.”
The article was prompted after a mainland Chinese on board a bus in Boston asked, “Where are you from?”.
When she eventually replied “Hong Kong,” the man started to get aggressive, Hui recounted. He insisted that she should define herself as “from China” — which was handed control of the former British colony in 1997.
