Involuntary Celibacy: The “Incel” Revolution

Counseling & Coaching, Dating0 comments

Matthew Henry/Unsplash

Young men who struggle with finding romantic partners are finding solace in their shared experience with each other.  They even have coined a term, “Incel” to describe their situation as being involuntary celibate.

From Reddit to other online message boards, there is much sexual frustration and angst among this group.  The Centers for Disease Control calculates 27.2% of men and 28.6% of women are sexless in the 15-24 age bracket.  Despite this being in equal numbers, it is men who express the dissatisfaction, possibly due to skewed Western societal views that equate sex with masculinity. Continue Reading

The Asian Christian Sex Addict: Three Layers of Shame

Addictions, Asian Christianity, Asian Shame0 comments

The Asian Christian sex addict is someone who must be addressed therapeutically on three distinct yet interconnected levels.  Pervasive to all three components are deeply embedded feelings of shame (cultural, religious, and sexual shame).

After my recent teaching to a group of mainland Chinese Christians studying in Switzerland, I saw this first-hand.  The Asian component is one that dates back centuries with the dynamic of shame and honor significantly impacting an individual more than someone from a Western or European background.  One Chinese phrase that epitomized this deep level of shame is, “So ashamed even eight generations can feel it.” Continue Reading

Multiple Maladies: The Addictive Personality (Spoken Word)

Addictions, Sam's Poetry0 comments

My drug of choice,

is not one over the other.

Instead it’s whatever my

heart desires or treasures.


Some days sex,

some days booze,

other days

a pack of smokes,

it can also include

bingeing on food. Continue Reading

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