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Sexual Confession from Hollywood: What this means for You and Me

Asian Shame, Therapissed: Unfiltered Observations of a Psychotherapist0 comments

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With more and more women coming forward to share their stories of sexual harassment, abuse, and rape against Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein, men are also feeling emboldened to share their own experiences.

The latest include actors Terry Cruz and James Van Der Beek who shared similar stories of harassment with the L.A. Times.  Van Der Beek, the former Dawson’s Creek star described being cornered by “older, powerful men” who fondled him and initiated “in inappropriate sexual conversations” earlier in his career and wanted to acknowledge the difficulties of coming forward.  “I understand the unwarranted shame, powerlessness & inability to blow the whistle. There’s a power dynamic that feels impossible to overcome.” Continue Reading

Involuntary Celibacy: The “Incel” Revolution

Counseling & Coaching, Dating0 comments

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Young men who struggle with finding romantic partners are finding solace in their shared experience with each other.  They even have coined a term, “Incel” to describe their situation as being involuntary celibate.

From Reddit to other online message boards, there is much sexual frustration and angst among this group.  The Centers for Disease Control calculates 27.2% of men and 28.6% of women are sexless in the 15-24 age bracket.  Despite this being in equal numbers, it is men who express the dissatisfaction, possibly due to skewed Western societal views that equate sex with masculinity. Continue Reading

The Asian Christian Sex Addict: Three Layers of Shame

Addictions, Asian Christianity, Asian Shame0 comments

The Asian Christian sex addict is someone who must be addressed therapeutically on three distinct yet interconnected levels.  Pervasive to all three components are deeply embedded feelings of shame (cultural, religious, and sexual shame).

After my recent teaching to a group of mainland Chinese Christians studying in Switzerland, I saw this first-hand.  The Asian component is one that dates back centuries with the dynamic of shame and honor significantly impacting an individual more than someone from a Western or European background.  One Chinese phrase that epitomized this deep level of shame is, “So ashamed even eight generations can feel it.” Continue Reading

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