Category Archives: Asian Shame

The Name Change of Asian-Americans: Why Asians “Americanize” their names.

Asian Shame, Race Matters: Candid Conversations on Race & Culture, Uncategorized0 comments

As first-generation Chinese immigrants from Hong Kong, my parents shared a funny story of how my brothers and I acquired our “American” names. When we arrived in Seattle as toddlers, my parents went to the one white couple they knew and asked them what would be nice names for us here in the U.S.

Without much hesitation, they responded, “Let’s go with Sam, Ken, and Fred!” So in the blink of an eye, our Chinese names were replaced with Sam, Ken, and Fred. We didn’t have any say in the matter as our parents thought this would be the best way to help us assimilate easier into this country.

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The Sexual Conquest of an Asian Woman: The Long-Term Consequences of Racism, Sexism, and Imperialism.

Addictions, Asian Shame, Race Matters: Candid Conversations on Race & Culture, Uncategorized1 comment

How did the Asian woman become the symbol of sexual docility, subserviency, and exoticism?  While viewed as demure, the Asian woman is also cast through the years as a sexual temptress n the same vein, the Asian woman is considered a sexual temptress to be tamed and devoured by the white man.

The reality is this was the result of Western Imperialism in East Asian countries through the years.  There’s an ugly truth in war that few want to acknowledge: sexual collateral damage.  Especially America’s history of military occupation overseas in Asian countries.

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The Benefits of Addiction Recovery: There’s more to recovery than just freedom from addiction.

Addictions, Asian Shame, Uncategorized0 comments

People often take a myopic view when they begin seeking help for their addictions.  The consensus is addicts in recovery want freedom from their drug of choice whether it’s food, sex, drugs, alcohol, or gambling to name a few. 

But what those in long-term addiction recovery will tell you is the freedom from addiction is just a starting point.  If anything, it might only be scratching the surface.

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Asian Parental Love & Abuse: The Yin and Yang of Traditional Asian Parenting

Asian Shame, Uncategorized0 comments

Photo by Raychan on Unsplash

When Asian-American clients come into counseling, it’s quite typical during their early stages of therapy to have a very black and white way of thinking in terms of how they perceive “love” from their traditional Asian parents.  In other words, love and abuse to them are separate entities and can not coexist.  Later they discover these are not mutually exclusive and painfully come to the realization that their parents may have tried their best to “love” them but also were abusive, whether intentional or otherwise.

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Asian Shame & Blame: How cultural shame and blame are used to maintain honor even at the expense of appearing judgmental, self-righteous, or lacking empathy.

Asian Shame, Uncategorized1 comment

Photo by John T. on UnSplash

The traditional Asian worldview is one where shame and blame are commonplace. I was reminded of that recently when giving a personality questionnaire to measure an Asian client’s level of empathy and came across a question to the effect of, “If a friend was ripped off by a con artist, how would you respond?” The client answered in a very traditional way, “That person deserved it!” In American or Western psychological profiles, that would be deemed unsympathetic to another’s plight. But the cultural consideration that this is how the majority of Asians would answer got me thinking about how deep-seated a lack of empathy can be among some Asians.

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