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Category Archives: Counseling & Coaching

Unwanted Sexual Behaviors: How unwanted sexual behaviors occur in relationships.

Counseling & Coaching, Uncategorized0 comments

Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

People often think unwanted sexual behaviors happen with strangers or date-rape type situations.  The reality though is there are many marriages and committed relationships where unwanted sexual behaviors occur despite the insistence by the other party for them to stop.

Unwanted sexual behaviors can include the following (but not limited to):

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Emotional Hostages: When your “Bus Stop Friends” only need you in crisis.

Counseling & Coaching, Uncategorized0 comments

Photo by Noah Buscher on Unsplash

Friendships are supposed to be two-way streets.  In other words, there should be a sense of mutuality and reciprocity but in some cases, it can become skewed where one party becomes dependent upon the other, and the other oftentimes unconsciously takes on the role of the burdened friend who feels they must be at the other’s beck and call.

In therapy, I often see this with clients who have a nurturing nature yet lack the ability to draw healthy boundaries with these friends who take them emotionally hostage.  

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Counseling amidst the Coronavirus: While video sessions are good, nothing can replace face-to-face sessions.

Counseling & Coaching, Uncategorized0 comments

Image by Grief Recovery Center from Pixabay

After nearly two months of being locked down and tucked away in my home office, I finally saw my first client in-person this week.  While some clients are more cautious and have no issues with teletherapy, others have been asking if they could see me in-person.

So with a few safety adjustments to my office (mainly ensuring 6 feet of distance between us, requiring hand-washing of clients, etc.), I re-opened with little fanfare.  But what was noticeable was how alive, energized, and rejuvenated I felt compared to the endless Zoom sessions I’ve been accustomed to that left me emotionally and physically drained, depleted, and exhausted.

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Domestic Violence amidst a Pandemic: It includes “non-violent” behaviors too.

Counseling & Coaching0 comments

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

When you ask people to describe what domestic violence is, most will say it involves physical violence of some sort (i.e. hitting, slapping, kicking, shoving).  But what most people don’t realize (including therapists), is there’s a number of other areas that are included in domestic violence also known as intimate partner violence (IPV), where the victim is never touched.

Now more than ever, as we are in the midst of a pandemic, the public needs to be aware of what domestic violence is as rates have surged due to stay at home protocols that limit a victim from accessing shelters and escaping an abusive home and relationship.

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Pride: The biggest challenge to addiction recovery.

Addictions, Asian Shame, Counseling & Coaching0 comments

Photo by Dev Benjamin on Unsplash

As a psychotherapist who works in the addiction field, denial is often cited as one of the biggest reasons for not getting help. While I agree denial is a huge barrier to recovery, it doesn’t quite encapsulate the condition which keeps someone in denial.

To truly get to the heart of the issue, we need to explore how pride or ego (in contemporary parlance) infects each and every one of us, but especially those suffering from addiction. The pride I’m describing is not the healthy version where one can be proud of a job well done or one’s accomplishments. Instead, the pride that can seep into the soul in a harmful way. In addiction work, pride makes itself known when one proclaims, “I can do this on my own,” “I don’t need help,” or “I don’t need God.”  

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