Category Archives: Counseling & Coaching

Addiction & the Covid Connection: How Addiction has increased amidst the Pandemic.

Addictions, Asian Shame, Counseling & Coaching, Uncategorized0 comments

Photo by Edwin Hooper on Unsplash

In the past year, I’ve seen my caseload and that of other colleagues jump significantly amidst this pandemic.  Is it a coincidence?  I don’t think so.  Unfortunately, the pandemic has brought about the perfect storm for addiction: isolation, secrecy, and a desire for escapism.

Addiction thrives in isolation and secrecy.  New clients have reported how the physical isolation from friends, family members, and co-workers has only added to that sense of loneliness.  In addition, those who were in the initial stages of addiction recovery but had yet to develop a strong connection or community of mentors, sponsors, 12 Step Groups or others avenues of help found themselves suffering in silence.

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Relapse is a Part of Recovery: The Reality of Addiction Treatment

Addictions, Asian Shame, Counseling & Coaching, Uncategorized0 comments

Photo by Tobias Tullius on Unsplash

Clients and loved ones come into therapy wanting to end their compulsive, addictive behaviors but few recognize the realization of what it encompasses.  People will swear to never go back to their “drug of choice” and I will acknowledge their steadfast commitment while giving them an understanding that recovery should be likened to a marathon and not a sprint.

People enter addiction recovery after years of engaging in their destructive behaviors and I let everyone know that it’s going to take patience and understanding for true recovery to take hold.

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Dating an Addict: 5 “Green” flags to look for if you want the relationship to work.

Addictions, Counseling & Coaching, Uncategorized0 comments

Photo by Logan Weaver on Unsplash

If you’re dating an addict of any kind, it would behoove you to know what “green” flags to look for.  Green meaning signs that point to a potential fruitful, healthy, and engaging relationship as opposed to one sucked into a vortex of secrecy, lies, and cover-ups.

As a psychotherapist specializing in trauma and addictions, here are 5 of the biggest “green” signs to look for:

1)   Acknowledges the addiction: If you suspect someone is struggling with an addiction, chances are you’re right.  If they get defensive and demand they have the right to their drug of your choice then you’re headed towards a relationship rife with problems. 

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Unwanted Sexual Behaviors: How unwanted sexual behaviors occur in relationships.

Counseling & Coaching, Uncategorized0 comments

Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

People often think unwanted sexual behaviors happen with strangers or date-rape type situations.  The reality though is there are many marriages and committed relationships where unwanted sexual behaviors occur despite the insistence by the other party for them to stop.

Unwanted sexual behaviors can include the following (but not limited to):

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Emotional Hostages: When your “Bus Stop Friends” only need you in crisis.

Counseling & Coaching, Uncategorized0 comments

Photo by Noah Buscher on Unsplash

Friendships are supposed to be two-way streets.  In other words, there should be a sense of mutuality and reciprocity but in some cases, it can become skewed where one party becomes dependent upon the other, and the other oftentimes unconsciously takes on the role of the burdened friend who feels they must be at the other’s beck and call.

In therapy, I often see this with clients who have a nurturing nature yet lack the ability to draw healthy boundaries with these friends who take them emotionally hostage.  

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