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Involuntary Celibacy: The “Incel” Revolution

Counseling & Coaching, Dating2 comments

Matthew Henry/Unsplash

Young men who struggle with finding romantic partners are finding solace in their shared experience with each other.  They even have coined a term, “Incel” to describe their situation as being involuntary celibate.

From Reddit to other online message boards, there is much sexual frustration and angst among this group.  The Centers for Disease Control calculates 27.2% of men and 28.6% of women are sexless in the 15-24 age bracket.  Despite this being in equal numbers, it is men who express the dissatisfaction, possibly due to skewed Western societal views that equate sex with masculinity. Continue Reading

Real Men Cry: Crying is Caring

Addictions, Asian Shame, Counseling & Coaching0 comments

cryingWhen my male clients initially come in to see me they often share painful aspects of their childhood yet look like disembodied souls as there’s so much incongruity between their stories and their affect.

When I confront them on this, they shrug their shoulders saying that’s just how they were raised. It’s heart-wrenching to see so many men tell me they feel weak, shameful, and inadequate for having feelings of sadness, pain, and disappointment. All their lives they were told, “Real men don’t cry,” yet studies show how crying is a way for the body to release toxins from the body. Continue Reading

From Left Brain to Right Brain: Why I Stopped Making “Interpretations”

Counseling & Coaching0 comments

brainTherapy in the past few decades has seen a shift from behaviorally-based theories to one of cognitions (i.e. cognitive-behavioral therapy) to the present day world where bodily-based emotions and psychobiological states are dominant.

With advances in brain imaging, neuroscience is giving us a glimpse to the affective states of trauma, triggers, and emotionally distressing emotions that heretofore was only speculative at best. Continue Reading

Dollars & Sense: Clinical Issues with Money

Counseling & Coaching0 comments

moneyI recently attended a therapy training surrounding fees, rates, insurance reimbursement, sliding-scale, and a host of other inter-related money issues which prompted me to expand on my thoughts regarding the clinical issues of money that come up for therapists (money-issues involving clients will be reserved for another post).

For clinicians, many may struggle in private-practice because of the quandary they face regarding charging clients for work they see as a service to the community.  Therapists as a whole go into this business not for money but for improving the welfare of individuals, families, and the community at large.   Continue Reading

Adopted: Beyond the Glamour of Asian Adoptions

Asian Shame, Counseling & Coaching0 comments

adoptedAsian girls are the fastest growing segment of international adoptions here in the United States.  But beyond the benevolence and generosity underlying many Caucasian adoptions of Asian children, the complexities of race, identity, community, and emotional scars of abandonment are rarely addressed.

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