Category Archives: Dating

Systemic Sexual Racism: The Impact on Asian-American Men.

Asian Shame, Dating, Race Matters: Candid Conversations on Race & Culture0 comments

Revenge of the Nerds (1984)

In the United States, dating for ethnic minorities is rife with stereotypes, caricatures, and deeply embedded into mainstream media messages especially as it relates to masculinity and virility.

Consider the following: the Italian stallion, the Latin lover, or the Black stud. All of these carry a hypersexual or overly sexualized perception of men from these various cultures. But for the Asian male, he is relegated to the sphere of asexuality at best.

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5 Ways to Recover from Infidelity

Addictions, Asian Shame, Counseling & Coaching, Dating1 comment

Dave Emmett of PhotoPin

One of the most devastating emotional, physical, and spiritualwounds in a coupleship is when cheating occurs.  Once this is discovered, the betrayed partner wants to know the truth while the offending partner may acknowledge the infidelity but is fearful of sharing more lest the relationship end in a divorce, separation, or break-up.

As a psychotherapist who specializes in sexual and cultural issues, here are 5 areas that are recommended for the relationship to get the healing it deserves in times of infidelity.

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Involuntary Celibacy: The “Incel” Revolution

Counseling & Coaching, Dating2 comments

Matthew Henry/Unsplash

Young men who struggle with finding romantic partners are finding solace in their shared experience with each other.  They even have coined a term, “Incel” to describe their situation as being involuntary celibate.

From Reddit to other online message boards, there is much sexual frustration and angst among this group.  The Centers for Disease Control calculates 27.2% of men and 28.6% of women are sexless in the 15-24 age bracket.  Despite this being in equal numbers, it is men who express the dissatisfaction, possibly due to skewed Western societal views that equate sex with masculinity. Continue Reading

Age is a Factor

Counseling & Coaching, Dating0 comments

LolitaDear Sam,

I’m a little confused. Or not really. Maybe I’m crazy?
 Anyway I was in an online/long distance relationship with my ex boyfriend for five years.  We met online when I was 14 and he told me he was 20ish at the time.  I’m 19 now and a year ago I found out he is much older than he said he was 35.
  I broke up with him and then took him back because the age thing wasn’t really a factor in why I fell for this guy. 

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Asian Racism and Inter-racial Dating

Asian Shame, Dating0 comments

asian womanAsian parents are racist.  The intention may be to strengthen one’s ethnic identity and perpetuate the culture yet this can often undermine relationships.  Case in point is with inter-racial dating.  More specifically, I should say inter-ethnic dating such as two Asians dating from different Asian ethnic backgrounds. Continue Reading

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