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Dating an Addict: 5 “Green” flags to look for if you want the relationship to work.

Addictions, Counseling & Coaching, Uncategorized0 comments

Photo by Logan Weaver on Unsplash

If you’re dating an addict of any kind, it would behoove you to know what “green” flags to look for.  Green meaning signs that point to a potential fruitful, healthy, and engaging relationship as opposed to one sucked into a vortex of secrecy, lies, and cover-ups.

As a psychotherapist specializing in trauma and addictions, here are 5 of the biggest “green” signs to look for:

1)   Acknowledges the addiction: If you suspect someone is struggling with an addiction, chances are you’re right.  If they get defensive and demand they have the right to their drug of your choice then you’re headed towards a relationship rife with problems. 

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The Benefits of Addiction Recovery: There’s more to recovery than just freedom from addiction.

Addictions, Asian Shame, Uncategorized0 comments

People often take a myopic view when they begin seeking help for their addictions.  The consensus is addicts in recovery want freedom from their drug of choice whether it’s food, sex, drugs, alcohol, or gambling to name a few. 

But what those in long-term addiction recovery will tell you is the freedom from addiction is just a starting point.  If anything, it might only be scratching the surface.

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The Contradiction of Addiction: Is it a disease, a choice, or a form of powerlessness?

Addictions0 comments

As an addiction specialist, one of the most common rebuttals I get from the general public and even those suffering from an addiction is the aversion to the belief of powerlessness.  No one wants to feel “powerless” over a substance like drugs or alcohol or to behaviors like gambling, eating, or sex.  We all want and inherently believe we make choices in life and need to be held accountable to them.

But therein lies the rub.  The core definition of addiction is doing something which negatively impacts you and your loved ones yet you can’t stop and continue to do so.  So how do we make sense of the nature of addictions?  Is it a disease, a choice, or are we simply powerless over them?

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The Incel Ideology: Treating Incels is similar to addiction treatment.

Addictions, Dating, Man Up!0 comments

Photo by Adrian Swancar on Unsplash

When Incels (Involuntary Celibates) or those with “Incel-like” tendencies come into my office or request about my services, they will often first distance themselves from describing themselves as extreme Incels as those on the fringes have been associated with misogynistic, angry, and violent men who endorse killing men and women based on their sexual frustrations.

Yet they empathize with the Incel community’s concerns and share many of the similar ideologies with the exception of supporting the violence.   What’s characteristic of many Incels is their cognitive distortions also known as “thinking errors” often referenced in addiction recovery circles.

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Millennials love Anime/Hentai Porn: What parents need to be aware of when it comes to cartoon porn.

Addictions0 comments

Photo by Ryan Yao on Unsplash

Hentai is a Japanese word that translated into English means “perverse” sexual desire.  Its porn which comes in cartoons, anime, or Manga format is one of the most popular kinds of porn for Millenials, young adults, and children.  According to one porn site’s analytics detailing the most popular search terms on its site, ‘Japanese’ shot up 4 positions to become the most searched term of 2019. While ‘hentai‘ (NSFW) remained the second most popular term.

Needless to say, this is a trend that is likely to stick as Hentai porn attracts both young and old.  Old in the sense that long-time porn users often need a more stimulating material as they have hit a certain level of tolerance and different types of porn for arousal and intensity.

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