Category Archives: Uncategorized

Asian Lecturing: The Wrong Love Language

Uncategorized0 comments

Source: National Alliance on Mental Health

Traditional Asian parents love to lecture their children both when they’re minors but also well into adulthood.  My clients bristle, complain, and shake their heads in frustration when relaying how their parents make it a point to tell them how to live their lives.

Parents will lecture their children on topics such as how to succeed in school or their professions, how to date, how to improve their marriages, how to be a “better” person but also mundane aspects of life such as how to be “healthier” (e.g. what you should be eating, how you should be sleeping/resting, etc.)

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Addiction & the Covid Connection: How Addiction has increased amidst the Pandemic.

Addictions, Asian Shame, Counseling & Coaching, Uncategorized0 comments

Photo by Edwin Hooper on Unsplash

In the past year, I’ve seen my caseload and that of other colleagues jump significantly amidst this pandemic.  Is it a coincidence?  I don’t think so.  Unfortunately, the pandemic has brought about the perfect storm for addiction: isolation, secrecy, and a desire for escapism.

Addiction thrives in isolation and secrecy.  New clients have reported how the physical isolation from friends, family members, and co-workers has only added to that sense of loneliness.  In addition, those who were in the initial stages of addiction recovery but had yet to develop a strong connection or community of mentors, sponsors, 12 Step Groups or others avenues of help found themselves suffering in silence.

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Relapse is a Part of Recovery: The Reality of Addiction Treatment

Addictions, Asian Shame, Counseling & Coaching, Uncategorized0 comments

Photo by Tobias Tullius on Unsplash

Clients and loved ones come into therapy wanting to end their compulsive, addictive behaviors but few recognize the realization of what it encompasses.  People will swear to never go back to their “drug of choice” and I will acknowledge their steadfast commitment while giving them an understanding that recovery should be likened to a marathon and not a sprint.

People enter addiction recovery after years of engaging in their destructive behaviors and I let everyone know that it’s going to take patience and understanding for true recovery to take hold.

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The Name Change of Asian-Americans: Why Asians “Americanize” their names.

Asian Shame, Race Matters: Candid Conversations on Race & Culture, Uncategorized0 comments

As first-generation Chinese immigrants from Hong Kong, my parents shared a funny story of how my brothers and I acquired our “American” names. When we arrived in Seattle as toddlers, my parents went to the one white couple they knew and asked them what would be nice names for us here in the U.S.

Without much hesitation, they responded, “Let’s go with Sam, Ken, and Fred!” So in the blink of an eye, our Chinese names were replaced with Sam, Ken, and Fred. We didn’t have any say in the matter as our parents thought this would be the best way to help us assimilate easier into this country.

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What Everyone’s Getting Wrong about Sex Addiction & Violence

Addictions, Race Matters: Candid Conversations on Race & Culture, Uncategorized0 comments

The suspect in the recent Atlanta spa shootings that left eight people dead, six of whom were women of Asian descent, claimed he carried out the carnage as a means to rid himself of “temptation.” 

Photo by David Len on Unsplash

The 21-year-old gunman, Robert Aaron Long, identified to police that he had a sex addiction and purportedly had been in a Christian treatment center to address the issue.

But what exactly is “sex addiction,” and how does it differ from a compulsion? Are all sex addicts violent? And how does someone know if they’re addicted to sex, anyway? Go to Men’s Health to read the rest of my story.

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