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Speak English: The Coded Language of Modern-Day Racism in America.

Race Matters: Candid Conversations on Race & Culture, Uncategorized0 comments

Photo by Sung Shin on Unsplash

Critics often ask why I have to talk about issues related to race and culture.  To them, it’s as if I’m the one inciting racial strife and division by discussing these issues but if I stopped, they believe we’d magically live in racial bliss and harmony here in the U.S.

Yet, here in my hometown of Seattle, Washington, this week’s resignation of Kevin Mather, the CEO of the Seattle Mariners was indicative of how much race is an issue, especially to those like Mather who espouse disdain, contempt, and hostility towards those of us who aren’t as “American” as he is.

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The Benefits of Addiction Recovery: There’s more to recovery than just freedom from addiction.

Addictions, Asian Shame, Uncategorized0 comments

People often take a myopic view when they begin seeking help for their addictions.  The consensus is addicts in recovery want freedom from their drug of choice whether it’s food, sex, drugs, alcohol, or gambling to name a few. 

But what those in long-term addiction recovery will tell you is the freedom from addiction is just a starting point.  If anything, it might only be scratching the surface.

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Unwanted Sexual Behaviors: How unwanted sexual behaviors occur in relationships.

Counseling & Coaching, Uncategorized0 comments

Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

People often think unwanted sexual behaviors happen with strangers or date-rape type situations.  The reality though is there are many marriages and committed relationships where unwanted sexual behaviors occur despite the insistence by the other party for them to stop.

Unwanted sexual behaviors can include the following (but not limited to):

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Asian Parental Love & Abuse: The Yin and Yang of Traditional Asian Parenting

Asian Shame, Uncategorized0 comments

Photo by Raychan on Unsplash

When Asian-American clients come into counseling, it’s quite typical during their early stages of therapy to have a very black and white way of thinking in terms of how they perceive “love” from their traditional Asian parents.  In other words, love and abuse to them are separate entities and can not coexist.  Later they discover these are not mutually exclusive and painfully come to the realization that their parents may have tried their best to “love” them but also were abusive, whether intentional or otherwise.

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Emotional Hostages: When your “Bus Stop Friends” only need you in crisis.

Counseling & Coaching, Uncategorized0 comments

Photo by Noah Buscher on Unsplash

Friendships are supposed to be two-way streets.  In other words, there should be a sense of mutuality and reciprocity but in some cases, it can become skewed where one party becomes dependent upon the other, and the other oftentimes unconsciously takes on the role of the burdened friend who feels they must be at the other’s beck and call.

In therapy, I often see this with clients who have a nurturing nature yet lack the ability to draw healthy boundaries with these friends who take them emotionally hostage.  

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